


Trust and Loyalty

by SpiesAmongUs



Category: The Americans (TV 2013)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-05-09
Updated: 2013-05-25
Packaged: 2017-12-10 22:12:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,361
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/790759
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpiesAmongUs/pseuds/SpiesAmongUs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Jennings deal with an unexpected visitor.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

  
_Injustice, poverty, slavery, ignorance - these may be cured by reform or revolution. But men do not live only by fighting evils. They live by positive goals, individual and collective, a vast variety of them, seldom predictable, at times incompatible._

\- Isaiah Berlin

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Elizabeth felt a chill run down her spine. Someone was in her house. She took a deep breath, cautiously walking into the kitchen, pulling the butcher knife from the block. Relying on her instincts, Elizabeth slowly made her way through the house, keeping her senses open to every sound, every vibration, every…

Elizabeth quickly spun around, grabbing her assailant, holding them from behind, knife to their throat, her every instinct telling her to slit whatever ill-advised individual had decided to ambush her that day.

"Wait. I am a friend of Mischa." the woman spoke calmly while skillfully spinning out of Elizabeth's grip, the knife in her hand falling to the floor.

The emotion with which the woman spoke her husband's former name said everything about who she was, "Irina." Elizabeth whispered, emotionless as she now stood face to face with the dark-haired woman.

"Yes. I'm sorry, Mischa didn't mention your name," Irina responded, a slight smirk on her lips.

"It's Phillip now. And it's obvious he didn't tell you about me," Elizabeth stated stoically before hitting Irina as hard as she could with the palm of her hand, sending her back stumbling. Irina quickly regained her balance, attempting to strike Elizabeth, who gracefully maneuvered away from each blow until she finally grabbed Irina by the throat, holding her against the wall as she struggled for air, "Because if he did, you would know all the ways I could kill you right now."

As Irina struggled for breath, Elizabeth pressed harder into her larynx, but was interrupted by front door swinging open, "Mooooom!"

Elizabeth's heart raced as she quickly dragged Irina to the nearest closet, "Make a sound, and you will never see the light of day," she whispered before shutting the door.

"Mom? Where are you?" Henry called out again.

"Right here." Elizabeth responded, walking into the kitchen to find her ten-year old son biting into an apple, "What are you doing home?"

"Gas leak at school. Charlie's mom drove me home." Henry answered as he grabbed the remote and jumped onto the couch.

"Turn off the TV. It's a beautiful day, go outside and play." Elizabeth said, trying to sound as if she had not attempted to murder the woman hiding in her closet just a few moments earlier.

Henry sighed, "Alright," he shrugged, jumping off the couch and running to the closet where she had just thrown Irina.

"Henry, no!" Elizabeth ran to jump in front of the closet, but wasn't quick enough to stop him before he opened the door.

 _Shit._ Elizabeth held her breath.

"Geez, mom, calm down, I was just grabbing my skateboard. You were the one who said to go play outside." Henry said, not noticing Elizabeth's relived sigh as she realized that Irina was no longer in the closet, "You can be so weird sometimes." He concluded as he walked out the door.

Elizabeth's relief was short-lived.

"Your son is very handsome." Irina said from behind Elizabeth, this time maintaining her distance, "He must take after his father."

"Go to hell." Elizabeth moved swiftly towards Irina, but stopped abruptly as Irina pulled a gun from her coat, pointing it at her.

"Relax. I just want to talk," Irina said.

"You just want to talk? You're the one sneaking around my house, pointing a fucking gun at me." Elizabeth spoke enraged, yet composed.

"I like to be prepared for any possibility." Irina responded calmly.

"What are you doing here, Irina?" Elizabeth asked again, her rage building.

"Like I said, I just want to talk" Irina answered.

"So, talk." Elizabeth demanded, her own curiosity about her husband's former lover defeating her desire to finish this stand-off.

"To Mischa." Irina steadied her grip on the gun she was still pointing at Elizabeth.

" _Phillip_ isn't here. You'll have to talk to me. _His wife._ " Elizabeth said, contempt dripping from her words.

"His wife." Irina mimicked, laughing, "Don't you mean his cover?"

Elizabeth walked up to Irina until the barrel of the pointed gun was at her chest, "You think I'm scared of your weapon? Of you? You have no idea who you're messing with."

Irina rolled her eyes, "Please. You don't think I've been trained the same as you?"

Both woman stood face to face for what seemed like an eternity, but in reality, was only a few seconds when, without warning, Elizabeth swiftly moved, knocking the gun from Irina's hand, sending it sliding across the floor. With Irina disarmed, both women again engaged in hand-to-hand combat, only this time, Irina gained the upper-hand. As Elizabeth miscalculated a swing, Irina grabbing her arm, and threw her on the floor.

Before Elizabeth could react, Irina was on top of her and bashed her head against the floor. Irina wrapped her hands around Elizabeth's throat, " _Blyadischa_!*" Irina yelled as Elizabeth's vision blurred.


	2. Chapter 2

"Hey pal, what are you doing home?" Phillip asked his son as he got out of the car.

"School let out early," Henry replied.

"Nice." Phillip smiled at the boy, "up for a hockey game?" he asked, walking towards the house.

"Ok, but be careful going in there, mom's being weird."

"Oh, so is that where you get it from?" Phillip laughed as Henry stuck out his tongue.

As Phillip entered the house, he felt his instincts scream. Something was wrong. His legs raced towards the sounds of a struggle.

Elizabeth's lungs strived desperately for air, but the tight grip on her throat prevented her from taking a breath. Her instincts and training betrayed her as her consciousness began to fade. Then, suddenly, the grip on her throat disappeared. She gasped as air refilled her lungs. As her senses returned, she saw Phillip straddling Irina, holding her face down on the floor.

Phillip's right hand clasped Irina's wrists holding them behind her back, his left hand pressing her into the floor, but his eyes stayed locked on Elizabeth. She could barely comprehend his words as he yelled her name, "Elizabeth! Elizabeth, get up!"

As Elizabeth came to, adrenaline pumped through her veins. She jumped up from the floor, rushing to grab the gun that Irina had dropped earlier. Her shaking hands gripped the pistol, aiming it towards Irina and Phillip.

Phillip violently lifted Irina from the floor. He pulled her out of the kitchen and opened the door to the garage, dragging her down the short flight of steps. Elizabeth followed closely behind. Gun still drawn, she closed the door behind her.

"Mischa, please." Irina pleaded, appealing to the man she once loved.

Phillip's head spun as he tried to grasp the situation. He was brought back to reality when he heard the front door open and his son's voice call from upstairs "Dad! I thought you were coming outside." Phillip let go of his grip on Irina, looked at Elizabeth, bruises already appearing on her face and throat.

"Don't move," Phillip said sternly, but quietly, concerned now only for his son learning the truth about his parents. He opened the garage door quickly shutting it behind him. He saw Henry standing at the front door, apparently unaware of what had just taken place. "I'm sorry, but me and your mom have to take care of some things. How about you go for a bike ride?" Phillip said as calmly as he could.

"Dad… what's wrong?" Henry asked.

"Everything's fine. Just stay outside, ok buddy?" Phillip responded.

"Ok," Henry shrugged, his trust in his father far outweighing his sense that something was wrong. As the door shut behind him, Phillip ran back into the garage. Elizabeth was still standing in front of Irina, gun drawn. She glanced at Phillip as he re-entered, "Henry?"

"He's fine. I don't think he heard anything." Phillip answered as he walked towards Irina.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-" Irina was unable to finish before Phillip threw her against the wall, holding her there by her throat.

"What the fuck are you doing here, Irina?"

"Please, Mischa, you're scaring me."

"Scaring you?! I come home to find you in my house, strangling my wife, calling me the name of someone who doesn't exist. You think I give a shit if I'm scaring you? Tell me why you're here before I snap your neck."

Irina began to shake as she looked into his eyes, searching for a glimmer of the gentle man she once knew. Her eyes filled with tears as she pleaded, "Please. I didn't know where else to go. I need your help, they're looking for me."

"Who's looking for you?" Elizabeth interjected before Phillip could respond. Irina did not acknowledge the question, her eyes locked on Phillip's. Elizabeth continued, "If I were you, I'd acknowledge who has the upper-hand right now and start talking before I use your brain to paint that wall," she then turned her attention to Phillip, "Or maybe you would like to explain what the hell is going on here?"

Irina spoke, "After the mission in New York, I didn't report back to the Center. I tried to run, tried to start a new life. But now they are looking for me. They are looking for me, they are going to find me, and then… then they are going to kill me."

Phillip released his grip from Irina, shaking his head, trying to comprehend the situation.

"So, you defected?" Elizabeth asked, "A traitor."

"No." Irina responded "Not a traitor. I didn't tell anybody anything. I just… didn't want to be a part of it anymore," she looked at Phillip, "I know you understand."Even from where she was standing, Elizabeth could see Phillip's eyes soften at Irina's words.

Irina took a deep breath, turning her attention back to Elizabeth with her arms outstretched, pistol still aimed, "Can you please put the gun down?" she asked.

"Not a fucking chance." Elizabeth answered.

Phillip looked at her, "Elizabeth, put the gun down."

"Are you joking? No. I'm going to put a bullet through her head," she replied, steadying her shot.

"Just do it," he demanded, "…please."

Elizabeth looked at Phillip in disbelief. "Fine. Feel free to fill me in on whatever the hell is going on here whenever it suits you, _Mischa_." She turned to glare at Irina, "As for you, come near me or my son again, so help me, you will die a slow and painful death… and I will enjoy it." Elizabeth placed the gun into the waistband of her jeans, placing her shirt over it, and stormed out of the garage, slamming the door behind her.

"Please, Mischa. If they catch me, they are going to kill me. You know that. I can escape them, but not without your help." Irina pleaded.

"Why me?"

"You are the only one I can trust," Irina answered, tears forming in her eyes, "I have a plan, I just need your help. I'm so sorry for disturbing your family. It will never happen again. Just… Please help me."

Phillip looked into Irina's eyes, seeing something in them that he didn't recognize. He took her hands in his as he nodded, "I'll help you, Irina."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be continued.


	3. Chapter 3

Philip opened the garage door and walked into the kitchen, it was wiped clean of any signs of the struggle that had just taken place. He was surprised at himself for expecting otherwise – they had perfected hiding their other life from their children, from the world. As he realized that Elizabeth was no longer in the kitchen, his mind raced as he walked up the stairs. He stopped in the hallway acknowledging the closed door to the bedroom as a sign that she was still there. He stood there frozen.

He recalled his conversation with Irina. As they silently plotted her escape, Philip tried to evade her brief mentions of their past together. She again asked him to escape with her, to leave this life of danger and secrets behind. We can have a normal life, Mischa. A real life. No more lies, no more fears. We can travel the world. Leave all of this behind us. He had remained silent to her request, but he couldn’t prevent his mind from latching onto her softly spoken words, his own thoughts feeling like a betrayal.

He cursed his brain, after everything he had been through with Elizabeth, how could he even consider turning his back on her? Things were better now. Still, sometimes he would lie in their bed at night and wonder if that was a lie - if the change in their relationship was merely a result of necessity and circumstance. He wondered if, after years of living a life that itself was a deception, he even knew what the truth was. And the nights he would lie next to Martha, he would wonder if the same thoughts played through Elizabeth’s mind – did she care only that he was moving forward with the mission as ordered, or did she feel the same uncertainty that plagued him when he knew she was seducing another man at the behest of their country? Was he, in some way, just another target? He shook his head, questioning his own thoughts, his own loyalty.

_  
“Good afternoon, sir.”_

_“Please, officer. Have a seat.” Zhukov motioned to a chair in his office._

_Philip obeyed, attempting to appear unfazed by the array of golden-plated objects strewn throughout the office as they glimmered in the light. He had never seen such extravagance. “You wished to see me, sir?”_

_“Your grasp on the English language impresses me, officer.” Zhukov stated._

_“Thank you, sir.”_

_“It is my understanding that you have been informed of your selection for our most elite class of officers.”_

_“Yes, sir. I look forward to proving my loyalty to the motherland.”_

_“It’s interesting that you should use that word – Loyalty – it is the reason I wanted to speak with you.”_

_“Sir?” Philip asked, confused._

_“You have been briefed about your mission, correct? That you will be infiltrating America as one of our most valued Directorate S officers, hiding in plain sight among the Americans.”_

_“Yes, sir. I understand. But you need not question my loyalty.”_

_Zhukov nodded, “You have proven yourself a good man, Mischa.”_

_“-Philip” Philip corrected._

_“Of course. Philip,” Zhukov continued, “You also understand that as part of your mission, you will be provided a wife, expected to have a family?”_

_Philip nodded._

_“And that is why I wanted to talk to you about loyalty. You see, it is easy for a man to be loyal to one thing when it is the only thing he has. But that is not the way of the world. Many times the world requires a man to remain loyal to many different things - conflicting things. But, this is impossible. There will be times when choices need to be made.”_

_“I don’t understand, sir.”_

_“You need not understand now. But, someday you may be called to make such choices. Your loyalties tested. When that day comes, remember to look within yourself. You may find that, in reality, there are no choices at all.”_

__  
Philip inhaled deeply and turned the handle of the door. He entered the bedroom to find Elizabeth sitting on the bed, staring blankly at the floor.

“Well?” she asked, head still lowered.

Philip sat down next to her on the bed. She recoiled slightly, an action he had become accustomed to over the years. “Look at me,” he said, his hand reaching out to touch her face.

She reluctantly turned to him, but kept her eyes lowered to the ground. “Elizabeth, look at me,” he repeated. When she finally looked at him, he was overtaken by the emotion behind her eyes. Words suddenly failed him.

She turned her head away abruptly, “You’re leaving me.” He didn’t respond. “I heard you agree to help Irina,” She continued.

“Yes, but…” Philip stopped, guilt in his voice as he realized that the intimate conversation with his past lover wasn’t as intimate as he thought, “you heard?”

“You’re surprised? We're trained to listen to everything…” Elizabeth trailed off, “even the things we don’t want to hear.”

Philip sighed, “It’s not what you think. She needs my help.”

Elizabeth rolled her eyes, laughing coldly, “That’s always been your problem. You think you know exactly what everyone is thinking, that you can read them. But, you want to know the truth? You’re still the same naïve boy I met 15 years ago, just trying to be a hero. You’re so predictable. So go ahead, Mischa, go and play hero,” Elizabeth finished, annoyed at the emotion behind her own voice.

Philip sat there stunned as her words sliced through him. He knew they should have made him feel angry, hurt even. But, the logic and raw emotion behind her words made him feel something else entirely – as if she had reached inside his head and organized his jumbled thoughts. 

“You’re right.” It was all he could muster as a sudden wave of realization overtook him. 

Elizabeth scoffed, “So, you are leaving me.”

“No.”

“But you just said I was right-“

“Not about that.”

“About what then?”

Philip opened his mouth to speak, but he struggled to piece everything together himself. He looked at the clock, “You need to go pick up Paige. Take her and Henry to the Beemans, make up an excuse for them to stay overnight. If I’m not back by midnight, contact Claudia, tell her you don’t know what happened, that I disappeared. Don’t let on that you knew about Irina or any of this.”

“Don’t do it, Philip. Go back down there and tell her no. Tell her you won’t help her, that she can’t ask you to betray your country,” Elizabeth pleaded, disgusted at her own show of weakness. 

Philip laughed, “It’s beginning to look like that’s a one way street.”

“What do you mean?” Elizabeth paused as the realization struck her, “It’s a set-up.”

Philip placed a finger over his mouth signaling Elizabeth to be quiet, he told Irina to stay in the basement, but didn't want to risk her overhearing the conversation.

“… Irina? But what would Irina have to gain from setting you up?” Elizabeth whispered. 

“I imagine that she’s just following orders. I don’t know yet. But, I intend to find out.” Philip whispered back.

“So your plan is to go along with it? To have her lead you to… to whoever ordered this?”

Philip nodded.

“That’s suicide.”

“I sure hope not.” Philip half-jokingly replied.

“Have you lost your mind? This isn't funny. You’re going to get yourself killed.” Elizabeth said in an angry whisper. 

“That’s not part of the plan,” Philip answered.

“You mean the plan where you willingly walk into a trap and get sent to Moscow... or worse? No, Philip.” Elizabeth said firmly.

Philip took a deep breath, taking her hands in his own, “Just… please, I need you to trust me.”

“This has nothing to do with trust. We’ll signal Claudia for an emergency meeting. We’ll turn Irina in. Then whoever ordered this won’t have any reason to-”

Philip interrupted, “I knew about Irina's escape before and didn't notify the Center. They won’t overlook that. If we both go meet with Claudia, they’ll think that you knew about it too. I don’t want you involved in this.”

“It’s a little late for that.” 

“I know what I’m doing. I just need you to trust me.” He looked at the clock again and released her hands. “I have to go before Irina gets suspicious. Just stick to the plan. I love you.”

He turned and began to walk out the door, but stopped when he heard Elizabeth’s voice.

“I love you,” she spoke the words naturally, as if she had said them to him a million times before. 

Philip quickly turned back to her. He kissed her, his lips tried desperately to express years of unrequited emotion. Finally, he released and leaned his forward against hers. “Trust me,” he repeated again before walking out the door.


End file.
